When Obedience gets messy

Almost exactly a year ago, I stepped away from full-time ministry after 13 years.

No backup plan. No job waiting in the wings. Just a clear sense that God was asking me to let go of something I loved—and trust Him in the space that followed.

What I didn’t expect was just how disorienting that space would be.

This past year has been full of unlearning, relearning, grieving, rebuilding… and a whole lot of just being. It hasn’t been linear. It hasn’t been neat. But it’s been incredibly life-giving.

So for the next couple of weeks, I want to walk through it with you.

I want to look back on this season and share what I’ve learned—the good, the hard, and the in-between. What obedience really looked like (and what it didn’t). How God met me in the middle of the mess. And what it’s looked like to slowly rediscover my voice, my purpose, and my faith on the other side.

When Letting Go Feels Like Losing Yourself

Like I said, I was in vocational ministry for nearly 13 years. I held a lot of roles over that time, but by the end, I was a teaching pastor—and that title had taken root deep in my identity.

So when it was time to step away - It felt like I was losing myself in many ways.

And if you’ve ever had to walk away from something good—something that felt God-given—you know that ache. You know the questions that sneak in late at night:
Who even am I without that role? Without that platform? Without that purpose?

But here’s what I’ve been learning—sometimes the most obedient thing you can do is release the thing you thought defined you.

Because your calling is not your job.
Your worth is not your output.
And your purpose? It was never dependent on other people’s approval.*

Obedience isn’t about staying relevant—it’s about staying rooted.

The Slow Work of Becoming

This season has felt like a long exhale after years of running on spiritual adrenaline and cold pizza.

It’s been full of quiet growth and behind-the-scenes healing. I’ve had to wrestle with the need to prove, to perform, to stay visible. And in its place, I’ve been learning how to be with God without a microphone in my hand or a title next to my name.

Sometimes obedience looks like letting go of the stage.
Sometimes it looks like showing up in a borrowed studio, whispering quiet truths to the handful of people who are still listening.

It’s not glamorous. But it’s real. And it’s good.

Zechariah 4:10 says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” Not the work finished. Not the work validated. Just… begun.

So I’m choosing to celebrate the small steps.
The slow mornings.
The honest prayers.
The days that look like nothing big is happening—but deep down, everything is being rebuilt.

You Don’t Have to Be the Expert

One of the most unexpected lies I’ve had to confront is this: If I’m not the expert, I can’t be used.

But let’s be honest—none of us are ever “finished products.” We’re all in process. All still learning, still failing, still circling back to grace every single day.

And the beauty of God is that He doesn’t wait for us to have it all together.

He uses people in the middle of their story.
People with shaking hands and uncertain hearts.
People who are still figuring it out.

So if you feel unqualified, underprepared, or unsure… you’re in good company.

God doesn’t need your résumé. He just wants your “yes.”

You’re Not Benched. You’re Being Rebuilt.

In the early days of this transition, I worried I had benched myself. That maybe stepping back meant stepping out of what God was doing.

But over time, I’ve realized that obedience doesn’t sideline you—it refines you.

It peels back the layers of striving and gets to the heart of what it means to follow Jesus. Not for applause. Not for position. But for love.

If you’re in a season of waiting, rebuilding, or just not knowing— I see you.

You’re not being punished. You’re being prepared.
Not forgotten. Just being formed.

So… What’s Your Step?

I don’t know what your next step looks like.
Maybe it’s setting a boundary you’ve been afraid to name.
Maybe it’s taking a nap instead of pushing through.
Maybe it’s letting go of something that isn’t “bad”—but isn’t yours to carry anymore.

Whatever it is… don’t dismiss it because it feels small.

Faith isn’t about impressive moves. It’s about obedient ones.
It’s about showing up—messy, unsure, and still willing.

And if that’s where you are? You're not behind.

You’re becoming.

Let’s keep walking it out—together. 💛

—Sherri

P.S. I’m unpacking more of this journey over on the podcast too, if you want to listen to the story behind the story. But either way, I’m glad you’re here. Let’s keep walking through this season—one real, honest step at a time.

Check out Season 2 Episodes 1-2

*My favorite saying in this season: God’s call on your life was not a conference call.